The path to an upgraded version of you
Knowledge, vision and purpose
We must continually expand our realm of knowledge and our field of vision through digestion and incorporation of new information. To develop a broader vision we must be willing to kill our narrower vision. In the short run it is more comfortable not to do this- to stay where we are, to avoid suffering the death of our cherished information.
The road of spiritual growth, however, lies in the opposite direction. We begin by distrusting what we already believe, by actively seeking the threatening and unfamiliar, by deliberately challenging the validity of what we have previously been taught and hold dear.
IMPORTANCE OF AUTHENTICITY
One of our problems is that very few of us have developed any distinctive personal life. Everything about us seems second-hand, even our emotions. In many cases we have to rely on second-hand information in order to function. I accept the word of a physician, a scientist, a farmer, on trust. I do not like to do this. I have to because they possess vital knowledge of living of which I am ignorant. Second hand information concerning the state of my kidneys, the effects of cholesterol and the raising of chickens- I can live with. But when it comes to questions of meaning, purpose and death, second-hand information will not do. I cannot survive on a secondhand faith in a second-hand God. There has to be a personal word, a unique confrontation, if I am to come alive.
from The road less traveled- Scott Peck- M.D.
The last piece of chocolate…
Many people would understand when I would describe chocolate as “bliss, moments of happiness, pure joy” (Yes I do like it that much!!!)
I am not sure when this affaire began, but chocolate has been a great life companion – there for every celebration or depression and all the time in between.
I learnt with experience that when abused it will get you to gain weight like nothing else. It is then: with the last piece of a huge bar when I always promise, nudged by feelings of regret and remorse: that is it! I am not doing this again! Reality strikes and I have to deal with the only time when chocolate does not make you happy any more. The last piece that brings you to reality: a bitter sweet: enough is enough! And then, depending of the time of the day I would find my way to the gym or go out for a really long walk.
I realized how often in life we need to deal with “our last piece of chocolate”. We are perfectly aware it does not do us any good, but out of boredom or laziness to look for an alternative we still do it. Because in order to change anything energy, time, devotion, hard work and sometimes commitment is required. It’s extremely hard many times, therefore, we just convince ourselves that everything is ok the way it is. We remain average people having average expectations thinking that anything better or different just can’t be done. We don’t try it because so many had before, not able to change anything. The funny thing is- there have been a few people in our world that ended up making great discoveries or making a huge difference in the world just because they had a different mind set and did not concentrate on what could not be done, but had the courage and took the risk to prove it possible!
When you choose to be different or do something most believe it’s a lost cause, do not expect words of congratulations or encouragement. You have decided to go against the flow, people around will start to feel bad thinking they could do exactly the same and succeed. But because they don’t, for various reasons, they will become uncomfortable with you- in most cases. If it’s different – be happy, because you are still surrounded with people who love and support you, which is grace and favor shown from up above.
It takes effort to stay away from our last piece of chocolate and have the wisdom to recognize when things could be better or different in your life and want to change what can be changed. But it is a strong person the one that can do that. I am failing many times, but I am working on it. Constantly. Because I want to be a better person. Because the rewards of a great character are sweeter than any chocolate. And it’s worth every effort in the world!
It’s all about God’s perfect timing
(some words of wisdom from the book of Ecclesiastes)
And here we go again…
It is almost tradition..going for a walk on the first day of the year, just to enjoy the warm sunny weather of Southern California. One of my first thoughts is always: I cannot believe it’s January 1st, and I can walk outside wearing just a t-shirt. Right now, it is freezing in other parts of the world! (like back home).
Seasons of our life, and years flying by and the continuous change that we got used to as our routine. Life!
I have grown maybe a little insensitive towards making the beginning or ending of years the time for inventories, new resolutions or anything close to that. Maybe just because I like to make my own rules and because it’s not necessarily a thing to do, only because everybody else does it. I evaluate and set new goals in my life all the time. When I realize I need or I want to do something, that will not start tomorrow, or the first of the next month or at the beginning of the year, it will just start right now. I’m not saying there’s anything bad about resolutions, about time frames or round numbers, they just don’t work for me. I usually break rules that are there just for the sake of following them but dont make much use or sense.
So here I was, walking, and thinking if there was anything else I should evaluate, analyze or think about from whatever was 2009 in my life. I remember the feeling I had at the beginning of the year. Something was telling me…this will be one year to remember, and definitely special. And that was kind of exciting..but wow,what was to come was of course completely unpredictable. It had numberous up-s and down-s, situations and circumstances, I wouldn’t have possibly see coming. It was a good year. And it was good because I experienced a time of growth in many areas of my life.
That usually comes with well, a lot of discomfort and unavoidable pain. I would dare say it was a good year because through everything that had happened, my life got a new perspective and a new direction. God was there to provide, to guide, to heal and to help. And when you have such a back-up, you are stepping on a very safe path. And that is what I have experienced this last year. And it was great! I am looking forward to see what 2010 brings. I am somewhat nervous, I feel I will need to take many steps in faith. But I cannot wait. I know that “Who gives the day, Will show the way, and so, I’ll surely go!” May He bless us all with great wisdom!
What was so wrong about perfectionism, anyway?
I was almost exhausted but so very happy admiring one of my shirts that had no wrinkle left! I looked at this shirt very pleased I owned such a beautiful piece of clothing that now looked perfect and it could proudly represent me! But at that point I realized I have ironed almost half of my closet..and it suddenly got me thinking..I was so happy to see how well and nice everything looked now!
I find so much pleasure in organizing things, seeing them stored in the right places or just working properly..it gives me the feeling that..everything is in control, everything is fine..no chaos going on! And I feel great! I can relax..things are fine! But..I would never admit I had anything to do with the perfectionist world..that word drives me nuts! I’m not one of them, don’t want to be! (I know it’s pretty much impossible, so I’m saving some stress and energy to use on something else). Still..that was exactly the thought that came to my mind..am I a perfectionist? Of course the response came within seconds: no way! But..if I was..what is so wrong with that? Perfect is one of the attributes of God, is it wrong to aim for that?
Well..I strongly believe it is not! I believe we are actually expected to do so, as in to try our best and even if we don’t get things perfect..we do them really well, and we can enjoy the rewards of that. What I am really repulsive of is actually the “control freak” situation. (PLEASE DON’T TRY IT AT HOME..OR ANYWHERE ELSE, FOR YOUR OWN SAKE AND FOR EVERYBODY ELSE’S) It is just sad, and I do see it at work and in everyday life of people around me. People stressing out for something breaking down or for something that was misplaced and seems to be lost for a moment, and acting like it was the end of the world. OH MY…A MISTACKE! I see them being not able to focus on anything else after that…after all, they have made a mistake. And everything needs to be done in a very extremely and totally perfect way! And there is no other way! I am not judging. Like many other things, I have tried it too. My conclusion: not working! I find myself struggling with it sometimes still. None of us like to be wrong, and for some, it is actually very difficult to admit somebody knows it better than we do. Our ego gets in great pain that moment! BUT…we can’t go all on the other side and not even trying, because we could go wrong either! So..is there a solution?
I do believe we are to aim high. I believe we are to have high expectations and constantly push ourselves towards the goals we have. We are to be strong, determined and not to give up easily. And yes, to strive for perfect! But to always remember we are not to “lean on our own understanding”. We will never be perfect, we are just not made that way. But being built in His image, we have that desire in our hearts. And there will be a day we will enjoy that…but until then, let’s allow ourselves to enjoy life and it’s little imperfections!
Celebration of friendship!
I am not mistaking when I say that this year had thought me so many lessons about friendship- what it is, what it means- the do-s and don’t-s and the never ever ever do-s! There were times when, because of not being able to see further than myself and my own feelings, I believe I have unfortunately made terrible mistakes and those lessons were necessary I guess.
I have learnt a lot, some of them were painful lessons, and some others were God’s expression of love through the people He has put close to me.
Friendship- it all becomes so obvious when for example, I was left in a place with no car battery at night, to have somebody driving for about 30 miles just to make sure I can get home, after he had an exhausting day at work. It also reflects when you find permanent council and concern, any time you need it. It shows when from thousand miles away people are by your side every step of a steep or troubled way, making sure you stay on the right path. There are also the sweet people that you can call in the middle of the night to share joy or sorrow…
I have looked around, and realized that I did absolutely nothing to deserve the awesome friends God had blessed me with! From my roommates to my best friends overseas! I love them, that is true, and I love to be there for them, whenever they need. It’s one of the times when I can taste happiness in life, when I can help my friends.
May He bless each one of them, the best way He knows possible! I love them dearly and I pray I won’t miss any opportunity to show them that!
well..these are just a few examples..and I thank God for the entire gallery I could upload if I were to put pictures with all of my friends here..and they do understand and are just as dear to me 
Are you down, down, down..?
The words of the song that didn’t have too much logics or proof if IQ were still in my head from the previous karaoke night..but, coincidence, fun fact or whatever it was..that’s exactly how I was feeling.
I do experience a time in my life when things just can’t stop from happening! The good thing- I don’t get bored, and God is taking me places that I wouldn’t have been able to experience before. Still, on a background of changes in many important areas in my life I was experiencing a time of relative emotional stability (and I was quite surprised by that fact). I was happy thinking that maybe meanwhile I have grown wiser, and I am able to enjoy it having in mind that there is a reason and a purpose for everything under the sun. But there comes this week, when I start feeling sick. And with all that, I start loosing interest in anything that was a social activity in my schedule before that..and hey, with a good excuse: I’m sick, I don’t feel well! Have I left my guards down for just a little bit, I don’t know! But I have started to feel another virus, that was operating not against my immune system…but the emotional one. I felt ..down…ground level..or lower, if there’s such thing. And I didn’t really know how did I get there. Everything seemed to be ok, until this sleepless night when memories and emotions belonging to the past returned to my mind..replacing the relative calm with a big time distress.
Well, not that it was the first time anything like this ever happened to me, and what I have learnt so far is that in order to fight against it, you must first understand what is the cause, where is it coming from..and what is it? Because once you have that figured out, you can look for the right weapons. When it comes to matters of the heart, it’s only its Maker that has the solution. We can only delude ourselves we can do anything about it. Because we really can’t! And you know what..you might be surprised, but these matters are important to God. He does take care of them as soon as we ask Him to….so…I was staring to feel so sorry for myself and trying to figure out how in the world did I end up in this valley again..when I happen to remember that I had missed the last week’s church service. And I am so thankful for the online archive they have..and I go there, because for some reason all of a sudden I really wanted to listen to it so. And surprise: sermon title: REJOICE ALWAYS! I’m like..oh great! it was the last thing I felt like doing! But I did listen to it, and I am so glad I did. I got to hear examples of other people going through difficult times in their lives, I mean..I really could’t compare my situation to any incurable diseases others had to struggle with, or anything close to that. And I got to hear how those people some way were able to praise God through that. I have honestly started to feel so ashamed, and ask God to forgive me. I have also remembered about my pastor’s advice not long ago: oh, you think you are doing so bad? Why don’t you go volunteer for a little bit in an orphanage, or a nursing home?
It gets to be difficult sometimes, but I want to praise God for His love and patience with me every day! The health I have, the awesome family, great friends and countless blessings every single day! I’ll try to keep that in mind for the next time I get …down down down.. The perspective is suddenly different. And life gets exciting again!
Be still…
When I remember that verse..usually, I must be already in trouble. I try to remember it in times of silence, or when things are ok and life is good..but for some reason there come those times..when I need to stop..be still..and know again, that He is God. I wish that was easy to do..to calm down and wait for the storm around to pass. I find myself so often in the situation of trying to help the storm stop. Isn’t that absolutely ridiculous?!?!? And I am very much aware it is..and still..in times, I act like I had any possible influence. I don’t. And I know I don’t. But I have a really hard time being still. I like action, I like to make things happen, and when through the grace of God they turn to have good results..I feel like a hero!!! You name it, if it’s trouble, I’ll do something, somehow and fix it. If I can’t, I must know somebody that can. If I don’t ..I must know somebody that knows somebody that has a friend that knows how to do it. So, when life faces you with situations where, you can’t do anything, and not even Bill Gates would have a solution..you are in a moment when you need to surrender, and wait until He does something about it. And for a little while it works..I can wait..but absolutely nothing seems to happen. And therefore ..I become anxious. And I begin to wonder..ok, am I good to go now? Can I please do something about it?…how about now, is now a good time when I can get back in what I believe is the control of my life? and I can go on and on..sometimes I do remember to thank God for his patience because I see myself as annoying as that donkey in Shrek..”are we there yet? are we there yet?..”
So I do have moments – a lot of them, when I end up at a fork road, or having to make a big decision or choices that will affect my life in a way or another, and I am told to be still. Because I need to! (Otherwise, I have seen disaster spelled so many times before) So I know what the option is.
But what do you do meanwhile? How do you know when the “still” period is over? I think of it as hiking towards the top of a mountain. Only until you reached the peak you can see the beauty that was for you to enjoy on the other side. Times when you need to be still only last for this long. Allow God to have His will perfected, so you can move on…so you can enjoy that view at the top. You will then understand, and the hassle on the way there will make sense…
So then,what should I hope for?
Part of the usual advices you receive, especially when you are in a difficult situation, will have something to say about hope..I always hear that you need to have hope…how your future is in big jeopardy when you dont have hope..So I have started wondering, as a christian, how should I relate to having hope? What are we expected to hope for?
How about those situations when you have the feeling you are doing the right thing, but just about everything around you goes wrong? Are you supposed to go on hoping you are right? When is the time to …stop and realize the opposite? Times like that never come worry free and never happen at a low stress level. And when they come, I can just pray we have a good training in listening and discerning the voice of the Almighty. And..ok, lets just say you do… The story of an english missionary that I have heard this week in church came to my mind. He moved from England, with his family to the tribal jungles. His family died short time after. Other families came, they got ill and they were taken away. He returns to England to recruit, and the church held him responsible for leaving his post…what must have been in his heart? Where did he find strength to go on? How did he deal with it all? I can only think about the hope we have in the future life, when everything down here does not make sense any more…
I am still in search of answers and I might need some time to figure out which are the situations when I must have hope in God, and what exactly for, understand Him and His action plans better, get a better feel of it all..but the attitude I choose to have is : “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Florina
